Love At No Sight: Dating with Disability
For those of us who have an active dating life, we tend to fret over myriad things: from choosing the perfect place to what image-bolstering small talk we’d try to initiate. For a second, let’s see these from the perspective of a person with a disability. On one hand, there’s the wide range of dating issues and on the other, physical limitations.
For this article, we’ll get to have an unbiased view of disability dating. We will explore two major things: First, we will look into how dating is for disabled individuals; and second, we will discuss what we should consider when we are about to go out with a person with disability. Read on.
Perspectives
While dating can be a lot of fun, it can potentially prey on our insecurities. We basically overthink what we say, what we do, even what we wear. It can, however, become a tad more difficult for a person with disability. In interviews done with disabled individuals who are either dating or are about to enter the dating scene, emotional concerns revolving around how people perceive them are a common theme. It seems to boil down to one question: Can somebody really see beyond the disability?
Cultural differences also matter. As with other issues, perspectives about disability dating vary from culture to culture. It’s disheartening to know that there are places in the world that label people with disabilities as “undateables”. This can further damage a person’s self-worth, pushing him/her to isolation.
That’s why it’s important for us to realize the importance of empowering people with disabilities. There are those who are in happy, long-term relationships. There are those who got married and started their own families. The common thread? Self-assurance. From one interview, a respondent stated, “I stopped worrying about whether I was good enough for somebody. I was positive that someone would arrive who could accept me for me without condition. I wouldn’t settle for less.”
Dating with disability
What if we find ourselves about to go on a date with a person with a disability? Here are some things that we have to consider:
• Being considerate and concerned are essential in any date. Don’t overdo it by being like a doting mother hovering over her child. To be safe, cover the basics: open the door, help him/her get his/her coat on or off, offer help. The key here is moderation.
• Look for the perfect place that could accommodate his/her needs. Physical access is very important. The best thing to do here is to ask your date for suggestions. He/She would know the best place that would be suitable for his/her needs.
• Don’t talk about the disability unless he/she opens up about it. This is just basic courtesy.
• Have fun. Don’t overthink things. Remember, our date is out with us to have a great time.
What have we gleaned from our unbiased view of disability dating? It is this: RIGHT ATTITUDE means everything. The self-assured is courageous enough to believe that he/she is bound to find the one. He/She just has to put himself/herself out there and actually enjoy meeting people. The accepting sees the person first, not the disability. In disability dating, the right attitude can make a whole lot of difference.